I am leaving today for Minneapolis and will be gone until Sunday. I will be doing some work for a client as well as meeting some old friends. In the planning stage I was excited to go. But now, as I wait for the cab to take me to the airport I am sad. I always feel this way when it comes to travelling alone. At first excited for the adventure and then upon the point of departure, really sad. They are very hard to leave, Ellie and Dave.
I tried to tell Ellie about it this morning but it just didn't compute. Time is a weird thing to communicate about in general then try to do it with a 5 year old. She didn't want to leave me when Dave came to take her to the car and I feel really, really bad that when she get's home I won't be there. When she wants to snuggle in to go asleep on my lap like she does most nights, I won't be there. I am worried about Dave too. What if she is up every night like she has been for the last week? What if he is so tired he falls as he is carrying her down the stairs in the morning? What if she gets sick? She was a little not herself yesterday, and here I am leaving.
I guess it's a good problem to have, two people that it tears your heart out to leave. There's my cab. Can I not go? Just say never mind? Nope. Sigh.
*picture is of Ellie sitting independently on the couch playing with her farm toy in her jammies.