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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

No Safe Place

Since Ellie left the preschool at her school and "moved up" things have been off, slipping. I am disappointed. All this talk about moving her up to work with kids that are closer to where she is at cognitively was not realistic nor has it come to pass in the ways promised. The programming in the classroom is so much less which equates to a lot of down time for Ellie. There are just less activities, less variety, less attention for all of them. And her physical needs, which are substantial, are NOT being met. The teacher and the two aids in the classroom are great people and all love Ellie, there's just not enough happening. All the stuff Ellie was doing has not progressed forward in any way except in Oral Motor where things are rockin. But classroom time has too much down time. Ellie is a nerd - she needs more academics, more activities, more learning.

Why? Why? Why? Why couldn't she have stayed in her old classroom for another year? I know she just turned 6 in November, but technically she would not be 6 until February 2009 had she not been born 3 months early.  Why? What did we do wrong? What didn't we do right? I am upset.

Yesterday Dave came home and told me that Ellie was in a stander with the tray in a vertical position so close to her face that she could barely turn her head. I was livid.

What is up with that? How dare anyone do that to Ellie?! If they were trying to get her to look up the better way would have been to use a book or sing a song or get her attention another way. It's dangerous. What if she sneezes and smashes her head against the tray and tweaks her spine? What if her muscles get tight and that tweaks her spine? Some times in the new setting I feel like she is being treated like she has less going on in her brain than she does. There is an old school quality to it like stories I have heard of things happening to the disabled when they were labeled less pleasant things. It doesn't feel good that Ellie being in a position like that is ok to all those looking on and who put her in it. It doesn't feel safe.

I feel guilty. I was working, teaching, trying to be a consultant again and Ellie has been bored and in pain from no one regularly checking and giving her a break from her afo's. We did have a team meeting to address these things in October. But it some of the issues I have now are the same ones. That is frustrating. 

Ellie has taken to folding over forward when she is in her chair. She NEVER does this at home. It's a bad sign. They think she does it because she is cold. She NEVER does that when we are outside with her in her chair when she is with us. I think she is bending forward because she is either try to get someone to notice to take her AFO's off and / or there is nothing to see -she's BORED. She is also sleepy all the time at school, but the minute she gets in the car and we start doing her songs and video she perks right up. Ellie's modus operandi from day one when she is bored has always been to check out via sleep. She is doing that at school. Lately too in the mornings she doesn't want to leave my lap, Dave has to literally tear her away. She used to love school.