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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Morfeo? Morfeo? Where art thou?

The God of Sleep once again has left us. For months now. It's wearing on us all. Why? Reflux, Ellie's brain learning how to sleep without Depakote, head aches, insomnia....

I swear the sleep deprivation is the hardest part of this whole experience. It makes me divide my life into to parts: before Ellie and after Ellie. Before sleep deprivation and after sleep deprivation. This is not a good head set to be in.

I am hoping that in time her brain will rewire, relax, etc. I may try some Skullcap. Ellie's not happy about it either. She wakes up screaming and rather upset. I hold her. She tries to sleep and just as she falls asleep again, she screams. She does this from about midnight till 4am...most nights. I am tweaking with her diet and water intake late in the day. I give her antacids before sleep. We gave her a bath last night before bed to help relax her. We are creative in our trouble shooting. It's hard though. I am feeling grumpy yet grateful that my little one is more alert and seems not to need a nap in the day. She is making huge gains in school. On Friday her new teacher started using letter sequences to teach her pattern matching in preparation for algebra. Ellie got it right away. She no longer slumps forward in her chair due to fatique. She no longer constantly rubs her eyes in tiredness. She also has more control of her eye movements so I am assuming her ability to focus is better.

She is also very interested in food and trying my food in particular. See all the gains and all the joy! This damn sleep deprivation is getting in the way of my truly being ecstatic about all of this. My bright eyed inquisitive girl is back in force and I am too tired to really enjoy it. Sometimes I think it's all in my head. And I take this approach - change my attitude and life will appear better. It works sometimes. At others it does not.

One day at a time....but if anyone knows Morfeo, tell her from me that we really need her to stop by and hang out for awhile.