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Sunday, June 21, 2009

Crossroads

I am at one. Standing there looking at all the directions I could go and feeling a bit paralyzed. It's one of those situations where you can't stay where you are but you also don't want to go - but since you can't stay - you have to go and there I am. Standing in the middle of intersecting choices and paths laid out before me with all the ambiguity and mystery the future has to offer up.  The longer I stand here the more my legs ache to run, the more my mind wants to pick the right direction. If only I knew what that was.

Instead I stand in the center of the intersection, looking and turning and peering down each road. Sometimes I hope a car will come along and hit me so I am spared the decision altogether.  But that would just be too easy and I have learned from long experience that life is rarely easy or fair. 

I am gonna wait awhile longer, as excruciating as that is. Take some deep breaths and wait for that gut deep certainty about what to do.

5 comments:

Rick said...

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own.
And you know what you know. You are the gal {edited by poster} who'll decide where to go." Dr. Seuss

julie said...

I don't know what you see as you look down the roads before you, but I know that whichever way you step, you will be you and you will be all right. Trust your gut, trust your heart, trust the small, quiet voice that speaks without fear.

Sometimes at intersections I make a pro and con list - not to guide my decision but to give my brain something to do because it likes to think that it is in charge. I make a pro and con list and then crumple it up, throw it away, and try to follow my heart - even if it breaks, even if it is already broken.

Love and light shines through our broken pieces. And we are all the better for it.

love you.
Julie

Kathryn said...

Julie - I love you too and miss you! I love that "love and light shines through our broken pieces. And we are all better for it."

thanks for that one - very sustaining.

Thanks Rick, love Dr. Seuss

Lesley said...

My dad always said to me that if you don't know WHAT to do, don't do anything.

JoDee said...

The comment from Rick was also the first thing that came to my mind reading this post.