In hospital...again

Ellie is in hospital again. Same symptoms, the sudden ashen face, discomfort turning into fatigue and vomit. Instead of taking her home from school to sleep, I took her to the ER. She was then admitted to the neuro wing. Turns out there is this new MRI machine that can take a quick (5 minutes) and more accurate image of the ventricles...saving Ellie a whole lot of radiation. Apparently they have been using this for quite some time, but it is the first time we have heard about it. I am thankful to have found out. The reason we haven't heard about it before, though we have numerous ER visits that include CT scans, is because they only have a very small number of machines and limited hours of operation... Are you kidding me? So much there for another post.

Anyway, she is in for the night with Dada and will get the new MRI in the morning under slight sedation without intubation - which is a big improvement and sans radiation. It's still not clear if this is an abdominal migraine, regular migraine, brain deep seizure that doesn't show up physically nor in any EEG, acid build up or a malfunctioning shunt. 6 hours into our ER visit, Ellie spiked a fever.

There it is. I am home tonight alone in a quiet house, running Ellie's vomit covered clothes through the wash and cleaning up from the morning refuse. Putting her morning cereal bowl into the dishwasher feels a bit surreal. It's weird to be here at home, alone without the people who matter most. It's survival. Dave and I trade off sleep all the time, but it's weird, in a weird just not right kinda way.

Other than that, I am too tired/meh/raw/numb/notsurewhat to proffer more than the facts.