Sometimes, probably more than I would like to hear, people say of me and to me, "You have a hard life." I have to admit that part of me hates that - the part that hates anything with the hint of pity. And part of me agrees - life is hard and sometimes mine is too. However, overall, I really truly don't think it's a good thing to judge someone else's life time. For us, we have a lot of things we do that are different than the norm. Ok, what of it?
I contemplate on a regular basis. I would describe these contemplations as little 15 to 30 minute conversations with God about my life and life in general. In one of my most recent contemplations I heard the message quite clearly, "Don't begrudge others of their 'rest life times'."
This was a good reminder for me on a day when I was feeling overwhelmed and a bit resentful of why things seemed so hard for me but easy for others - it all seemed unfair. What this meant to me, is that some times you reincarnate and have a life where you learn ALLOT very quickly. Like a really jam packed, comedy and tradgedy, on the edge of your seat thriller movie. I would call these working life times.
And other life times it's more restful. Things unfold more slowly. There is not as much hardship and things are relatively pleasant and easy. I have had those lifetimes. And I think this life of mine is not one of them. It was quite difficult before Ellie was born. I am seeing a common thread when I look at it on the whole. So be it. It's a gift from God - all of these experiences.
But when you look at my life and say, "wow that's so hard", just remember you have had many working life times (if you believe in reincarnation - if you don't no worries) and will have more. So I won't begrudge you your resting lifetime - but don't begrudge me my working life time. I am learning a great deal and there is about a million tons of love thrown in there to keep me going. So, I'm good and no less successful or important or viable or credible or competent or deserving than you. Thanks.
Ok - so that's my little rant.
Here are pictures of Ellie's first time in the Creepster Crawler. She did AMAZING. She didn't cry. She didn't ask to come out. She played with her toy phone and explored a strip of abc mat. Thanks to Jessica and Diana for helping me learn how to get her in it and use it.
The other pictures are just potraits of my 4 and a half year old darling.
And the very last picture if of me and my oldest and dearest friends. We all went to college together so our friendships are going on 20 plus years. I am so lucky to be back on the East Coast so I can hang with them. This was at our July birthday celebration - yesterday. I would never say we do things by the book.