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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Working Life Time and August Adventures

Sometimes, probably more than I would like to hear, people say of me and to me, "You have a hard life." I have to admit that part of me hates that - the part that hates anything with the hint of pity. And part of me agrees - life is hard and sometimes mine is too. However, overall, I really truly don't think it's a good thing to judge someone else's life time. For us, we have a lot of things we do that are different than the norm. Ok, what of it?

I contemplate on a regular basis. I would describe these contemplations as little 15 to 30 minute conversations with God about my life and life in general. In one of my most recent contemplations I heard the message quite clearly, "Don't begrudge others of their 'rest life times'."

This was a good reminder for me on a day when I was feeling overwhelmed and a bit resentful of why things seemed so hard for me but easy for others - it all seemed unfair. What this meant to me, is that some times you reincarnate and have a life where you learn ALLOT very quickly. Like a really jam packed, comedy and tradgedy, on the edge of your seat thriller movie. I would call these working life times.

And other life times it's more restful. Things unfold more slowly. There is not as much hardship and things are relatively pleasant and easy. I have had those lifetimes. And I think this life of mine is not one of them. It was quite difficult before Ellie was born. I am seeing a common thread when I look at it on the whole. So be it. It's a gift from God - all of these experiences.

But when you look at my life and say, "wow that's so hard", just remember you have had many working life times (if you believe in reincarnation - if you don't no worries) and will have more. So I won't begrudge you your resting lifetime - but don't begrudge me my working life time. I am learning a great deal and there is about a million tons of love thrown in there to keep me going. So, I'm good and no less successful or important or viable or credible or competent or deserving than you. Thanks.

Ok - so that's my little rant.

Here are pictures of Ellie's first time in the Creepster Crawler. She did AMAZING. She didn't cry. She didn't ask to come out. She played with her toy phone and explored a strip of abc mat. Thanks to Jessica and Diana for helping me learn how to get her in it and use it.

The other pictures are just potraits of my 4 and a half year old darling.

And the very last picture if of me and my oldest and dearest friends. We all went to college together so our friendships are going on 20 plus years. I am so lucky to be back on the East Coast so I can hang with them. This was at our July birthday celebration - yesterday. I would never say we do things by the book.


Stacey said...

I wonder how Ace would do in something like that. He's hypertonic, so I just don't know that it'd help. I wish we could get something that'd keep his little legs bent.

Angela said...

Thank you for your "rant" -- I spent this morning wondering why life is so easy for a friend of mine...always gets everything the instant it's desired including full term, non-medically complicated kids and is still not happy.

Then I really sit back and think yes, life is hard, no this isn't what I expected but I also didn't want to have it all and still be miserable...and I know I assume a lot when I say this person's life is perfect. In my case I do admit I think I am jealous to a certain extent...I am jealous, overly stressed, tired and did I say tired? right now -- so of course things are going to seem off in the fairness department.

On the other hand I absolutely cannot stand when someone says "I couldn't do it" or "You're so strong" nope -- not me, not strong, and yes you could do it. I have and you could too!

Then finally I am who I am today BECAUSE of everything we've been through. I am the mother, wife, daughter, friend, and sister I am now and I like that person ;) I love my children -- and yes, it can be hard, but totally worth!!

Okay, so there was my rant! Thank you so much for writing this post!

PS -- GO ELLIE GO! I love the crawler!!!!! I am glad you had a nice time out with your friends too!


Unknown said...

I see where Ellie gets her pretty hair now, Momma! :)

Dream Mom said...

I love how you take her so many places and try new things. That's great. And she is such a pretty little girl. I love all of the pictures.

As for life, some days are really hard. And some days are easier. I am always surprised at what other people think is hard. The really hard stuff I rarely talk about, even in my blog.

The hard part for me is not raising and loving Dear Son. One of the biggest challenges for me is not having access to public daycare for the disabled so I can work a decent full time job in my field, like I used to, and earn a good living.

Good post.

Anonymous said...

What an enlightened post! Energy healing update- Nicole called today, the NH organizer didn't have an appropriate name- now 3 other people are being contacted.

Jacqui said...

Great photos and heres to great friends. If I had a glass of wine in my hand I would toast you guys.

If anything, I wish someone could have given me a hint of what lay ahead so that I could have appreciated a full nights sleep while I had it that little bit more. Sounds selfish but out of everything, sleep is what I miss the most.

anon said...

I just wanted to say your post really touched. I'd have to see I'm having a working life too.

My sweet daughter 3.5 ataxic cp +plus strange regressive episodes that she recovers from after some time, is definatly having a working life. But you know, she still finds so much joy. She is my hero.

Thanks for sharing.

Kathryn said...

Stacey - I have seen them on ebay. This one is borrowed from Ellie's school. Her legs are a bit stiff in it as well - but she does push off if you hold an arm or leg against her feet.

I hope you find something for Ace.

Angela- you captured it so much better than I could.

Danielle- thanks!

Dream Mom - I agree- it's amazing what some people think is hard.
And I know what you mean about not sharing the truly hard stuff.

Thanks - I think Ellie is gorgeous - but am totally biased. ;-)

Anonymous- thank you for all your hard work! Keep me posted.

Jacqui- I agree- the lack of sleep is the hardest thing. It seems like it's the most persistent thing too - the forever constant - disturbed sleep and exhaustion.

Summer - It would seem you are in a working life with Summer too. I really liked your blog! Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I "stumbled" across your blog and LOVE it! Your daughter is BEAUTIFUL! I love this crawler thing. My Brooklyn is 2 and was just diagnosed with Rett Syndrome. She is unable to crawl or walk, this might be something to look into with her PT. Thank you.